| Location | Warrington |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 6/2007 |
| Date of Death | 6/2007 |
| Visitors | 2,842 since 16/08/2007 |
| Creator |
Joshua Callum Fuller, Born asleep on the 11 June 2007 at Warrington General Hospital
We found out i was pregnant on the 9th of december, I went for my first scan and was told i had lost
the baby or it was too early to be scanned and was told to come back in two weeks, which was going
into the christmas week. The doctor asked me to go in on the 23rd December so that we could enjoy
christmas with our 2 other daughters. When i went back i was so worried that they would tell me i
had lost the baby. They called me in and started the scan i kept my eyes closed then i heard a voice
say "Theres the heart beat" i was so relieved i had tears running down my face. This was
going to be the best christmas present we could have asked for. we left the hospital so happy, we
were on top of the world. When we got home i told my 2 daughters Lauren aged 9 and Caitlin aged 4 we
were having a baby. they jumped up and down with excitement. I attended every antenatal appointment
and everything was fine. when we went for our 20 week scan we asked what sex our baby was, she told
us it was a boy. My husband was over the moon and was saying all the things they would do when he
was older. When i got to 28 weeks we paid to have a 3d scan done it was amazing. I went to see the
midwife when i was 31 weeks pregnant and she said "your going to have a big baby" I just
laughed as i was so pleased to be pregnant. We went out and got loads of clothes for him, He would
be the best dressed baby in town. We paid for his pram and had everything ready for him, all we were
waiting for was Joshua to arrive into the world. On Friday the 8th of june i had a bar of chocolate
and waited for Joshua to start kicking ( he must have had a sweet tooth) Nothing happened. Saturday
morning we went to town and bought him some more clothes and some baby toys. When we got home i had
another bar of chocolate and still no kicks my heart began to pound with fear. My husband phoned the
hospital who advised us to go down. I took my daughters to my dads house and rushed down to the
hospital. The midwife got me up onto the bed and told me they were going to listen to the babys
heart beat, they couldnt find one and said it was due to the way the baby was laying. They called
for another midwife. The second midwife also couldn't hear a beat so the portable ultra sound
machine was employed quickly to establish what was happening. By this time I was already shaking
and in tears and whispered to my husband that I think our son was gone. After a couple of minutes
we heard the words that every mother should never have to hear, "I am afraid that we cannot
find any heart beat and our son had passed away". Stunned, my husband and I were shocked and
both cried and held each other for a while. The midwifes had left the room after the news, however
returned shortly afterwards and explained our options. We decided to go home after we had composed
ourselves we decided to tell both our daughters that our son had died and their brother must have
been really poorly and had died in mummy's tummy. Both of them took the news badly and we
decided that they should stay at the granddads house that night. The following morning, after
having a restless night, my husband and I returned back to the hospital with some clothes to put
joshua in and we were ushered into the rear of the maternity suite (family room) to discuss inducing
labour and delivering baby joshua 'naturally'. After a few false starts and the breaking
of the waters and the insertion of the epidural Joshua was born at 10.24pm Monday 11th June 2007.
He was absolutely perfect and although my husband cut the cord there was no crying from Joshua and
it was just as if he was asleep. He weighed 4lb 2 oz and we requested that the midwife dressed him
and he was placed in the adjacent moses basket so we could spend some time with him.We spent the
night with Joshua at our bed side and i was waiting for him to let out a cry but nothing, the news
just wasnt getting through to us. Early hours of Tuesday morning the minister was called in to
baptise our son. Tuesday at mid-day we said that we should hand Joshua over to the midwife and go
home. this was so hard for both me and my husband, having given birth and going home with nothing
and seeing all the other mums with their new baby in their arms. All the midwives were fantastic and
we could not fault any of them. The funeral was held on the 21st June 2007 at walton lea
crematorium, Family and friends and friends from both my works and my husbands came. We asked that
no flower were given but if people could donate money, which would go to Warrington General hospital
Family room. We raised £250 which went towards items we felt were missing inside the family room,
this being a safe for personal belongings. we had a plaque made up to go on top of the safe in
memory of Joshua.
Our son Joshua will never be forgotten and will be missed dearly by all involved throughout the
pregnancy.
Joshua Callum Fuller xxxxx R.I.P xxxxx
This was a poem our 9yr old daughter read at the funeral
J is for Joshua who was going to be our baby brother
O is for over the moon which is how we all felt
S is for sadness when we knew it was not to be
H is for hope that he is growing in heaven
U is for understanding that sometimes bad things happen
A is for always being my brother
Hiya son What have you been up to? What do you think of your little brother? Lauren and Caitlin are like little old mother hubbards running round after him, he's a little monkey. We all still miss you loads and wish that you were here with us, I could just imagine what you and Brad would have been like together little partners in crime. Love you always son, Lots of love and kisses Mummy Daddy Lauren Caitlin and Brad xxx
Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama please don't cry~
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies."
Please, try not to question God,
Don't think he is unkind
Don't think He sent me to you,
and then He changed his mind.
You see, I am a special child,
and I'm needed up above
I'm the special gift you gave Him,
the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you
and watch the sky at night,
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost,
that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze,
from a gentle wind that blows
That's me, I'll be there,
planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing,
and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there,
giving your heart a hug.
So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
Mama don't your cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus
and He sings me lullabies.
My biggest fear was to lose my son,
now I’ve lost him my fear has gone.
There’s nothing left for me to fear,
I’ve lost the one I held so dear.
The worst is over, the horror is past,
The thing I feared most has happened at last,
No more do I worry, no more do I care,
nothing can hurt when a heart isn’t there.
I’ve been through hell and survived somehow,
nothing else can touch me now,
there’s nothing to fear of life to come,
I lost it all when I lost my son
A tear rolled from my eye
As I held you tight and said goodbye
You were my life, my joy, my son
Taken from me before your life had begun
My heart is now breaking
And my whole world is shaking
Just know I love you still
And I promise you I always will
Your memory will always remain
I will live forever with this pain
You are my angel, my little boy
Forever you will be my son, my joy
Just for you babe
"Angel"
Tear drops, slow and steady,
The pain so real and true,
God took another angel,
And that angel, dear, was you.
Angel wings, upon the clouds,
Your body softly sleeps,
Hush now little angel,
No more tears you have to weep.
Little prayers,are sent to you,
The short life you led;
Your family will never forget you,
So rest your little head.
I know God will look after you,
Now you are truly alive,
Your spirit soars beyond the moon,
Your legacy will survive.
You’re beautiful, you’re endless,
Now stretch your wings and fly,
Your loved by so many,
It will never be goodbye.
Close your pretty eyes,
No more tears,just go and rest,
Let your soul lie peacefully,
we know you did your best.
for all the little angels x
Missing you loads
Hello my little man, I hope your doing ok up there, i still think about you everyday and it still isnt getting any easier. Living life without you everyday is so hard, people think i have moved on, but deep down i miss you like mad and would give anything to have you here with your family. Give nanny Ann a big kiss from me and tell her i live her too. My life will never be the same without you again, my heart hurts so much love you loads son nite nite sleep tight babe love you always Mummy Daddy Lauren Caitlin and your new baby brother Brad xxxxxxxxxxxx
Happy Birthday Little Man
Hiya Son, I cannot believe that it is two years since you left us, but there hasn't been a day that I haven't thought about you. Both Lauren & Caitlin still talk about you often and you have now a baby brother, Brad, who will get to hear about you when he grows up. Sleep tight little man and love you always and forever, love Daddy, Mummy, Lauren, Caitlin & Bradxxxx
Thinking of You x
Hello little fella, thinking of you this morning on your 2nd birthday, still miss you and think of you, your baby brother is beautiful and I can see you in him, Your beautiful sisters miss you as well. Your mum and Dad are amazing strong people.
We all miss you, but know there will be a bright star tonight as you look down on us.
xxx
Count down
Hello Son
Mummy and Daddy are still missing you like mad and wish you could be here with us to meet your new baby brother or sister tomorrow. I know you will be watching over us in the morning and i know its going to be an emotional day for me and daddy, Love you always and forever Mummy and Daddy Lauren and Caitlin xxxxx LOVE YOU FOREVER BABY xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love you always Son
Hiya Son I hope your enjoying yourself up there with all your angel friends. We have just found out that your brother or sister is going to be born on the 7th May I wish you could be here as I know you would have made a brill brother, There isnt a day that goes by where we dont think of you. I so wish we had you here with us where you belong i will never understand why you were taken from us when we wanted you so much. Give Nanny Ann a big kisss from us all, Miss u always and Love u always Mummy Daddy Loz and Caitlin xx
P.s Nobody could ever replace you son as you were one in a million Goodnite and god bless xxxxx
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